January has been really tough for me. I spent most of my days mostly in tears. Well no one saw me really cried, but I did. Deep down inside I was miserable, broken-hearted, depressed, angry, sad and disappointed. Yes, I was disappointed at myself. I really was. 

You know what is the worst feeling ever? No, it's not when your cat dies or when some guy breaks your heart. It's when you know you could do so much better, but you didn't. And now you gotta take any consequences that comes along with it. That hurts. That will disappoint you. Big time. I feel so stupid not to give my best when I know I could. This is the first time ever that I feel SO disappointed at myself it hurts. I spent the next days regretting all mistakes I did, until one afternoon I read this interview:

“I made a lot of mistakes, I wish I could have maybe been tougher when I was younger in practice, but I guess that's just how it needed to be. It needed to be genius or horrible. I needed to have that wide spectrum. I needed to make mistakes to become the player I am today. I think it's really important. It's okay to make mistakes.” -Roger Federer

After reading those beautiful words, I cried. Not because it remindes me of my horrible mistakes, but because I know he's true. It is okay to make mistakes. I did nothing wrong. Even the greatest tennis player in this whole wide world make mistakes. And he wouldn't be the player he is today without those mistakes. So after a few days full of grief, I finally feel normal again. All thanks to this amazing athlete and my absolute idol, Roger Federer :)

Thank you for being such an inspiration, Fed. I love you on and off the court. 
Yea I know. Fed has proved it :)

So that's pretty much my life in this first month of the year. Hope you had a more cheerful start to the year, readers!


- I know this blog post wouldn't make any sense to you at all, but I don't care ha. 
- Read full article here. ♥